


I Name You Destroyer

by thymelord



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Bondage, Consensual Non-Consent, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Undertones, Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, Incest, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nonbinary Calliope, Orgasm Denial, Shibari, Spitroasting, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat, Threesome - M/M/M, Trans Roxy Lalonde, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:34:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thymelord/pseuds/thymelord
Summary: On what was supposed to be the eve of Dirk Strider's journey into the unknown, he has a slight change of heart (no pun intended) and decides he wants to bring Jake with him. (Un?)fortunately, someone else manages to sneak onto the Theseus with them, and throws him into disarray.An AU of Meat/Homestuck^2.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Dirk Strider, Dirk Strider/Jake English, Jake English/Dave Strider, Jake English/Dave Strider/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 31





	1. [S] Prince of Heart: Rise up.

**Author's Note:**

> NB: roxy is a trans man like in meat but he changed his name to rory because i thought that was pretty nifty. also calliope uses they/them, also like in meat
> 
> i would blame this on the quarantine but i have a fuck load of work to do in quarantine as well so this is just another way of procrastinating as per

This is the end of the world. 

No. 

It isn’t. 

It’s the end of everything: the galaxy, the universe, paradox space and everything inbetween, the silence between the stars and the vast unknowingness of the Outer Ring. 

And you stand at the center. Orchestrator, conductor, puppeteer. 

You remember Calliope’s voice. _Destroyer of souls._

The Prince is awake. 

_Truly_ awake, this time. 

And everyone’s shit is wrecked. 


	2. Reunion

Once upon a time, he worshipped the ground that the Page walked on. 

Not anymore. 

But that didn’t mean that Jake couldn’t yet be useful. 

~ 

The true implications for god tier powers had never been talked about before. This was not surprising to Dirk Strider. Most people who played Sburb never reached god tier, let alone got the chance to create a universe. For that tiny few who did, they are universes away, and they hardly have the motivation to tell other little proto-deities about what they should expect. 

Rose Lalonde lies on his couch, eyes fluttering closed. Dirk takes a step forward. It could be described as tentative, except nothing that Dirk did was tentative. He reaches out a hand, skimming Rose’s cheek. 

She is beautiful. She always was, but now, with her full potential realised and begging to be called to the surface… 

Dirk has to take a moment. Has to steady himself. 

_My daughter. Mine._

_My heir._

Although, perhaps heir was a misnomer. Not only because of the class confusion it caused, but also because Dirk Strider did not intend to die. In such a scenario, the concept of an heir would be nonsensical. 

But Dirk cannot, at the moment at least, think of a better name. Here she is. His heir/Seer. 

“Soon,” whispers Dirk. “Soon, my darling.” 

Rose makes an incoherent murmur. 

While she recuperates, Dirk turns his attentions to Jake English. 

Poor, incapable Joke – sorry, I mean Jake. Always the puppet of someone, even someone as weak as Jane. A small smirk turns Dirk’s lips upwards as he revels in the dramatic, gorgeous irony of Calliope giving away her juju. 

Dirk’s attention turns to the Page of Hope. He has turned into a joke, just how the trolls implied. The Page of Hope has such a beautiful, gorgeous potential, a potential that was sent down the drain by Jake’s personality. The trolls did not nickname him Joke as a simple pun. They _knew._

But the Page’s soul was more malleable than anyone Dirk has ever encountered before. It was barely even a challenge, even considering he was god tier. 

Not for one such as him. 

The only question was, would he want to waste his precious time on a little pet project? 

Well, Dirk supposes everyone needed a hobby. 

He picks up his phone, and dials a number that he still knew by heart. He wished he didn’t, but now it was ingrained in him, coded into his chromosomes. 

JAKE ENGLISH: Dirk?   
DIRK: Yo.   
JAKE: By golly this is unexpected! Why, i cant remember the last time we spoke outside of work, i really have been feeling like weve been drifting apart recently and i -   
DIRK: Jake.   
JAKE: So yes, sorry, what did you want to talk about? Just a catch-up or did you have something in mind?   
DIRK: I will be coming over soon. Half an hour. Make sure you're alone.   
JAKE: Y-yes i will, jane is out somewhere in any case, doing her electioneering and whatnot! Im not expecting anyone else, so that all seems in order! What exactly is this about if you dont mind my asking? Or perhaps its a secret? I must say i am excited to be getting up to shenanigans again after all this time. Ive missed it a lot!   
JAKE: ...   
JAKE: Ive missed *you* a lot.   
DIRK: We see each other all the time.   
JAKE: Gadzooks, you know what I mean!   
DIRK: See you soon, Jake. 

Dirk ends the call. Takes a deep breath in, then a deep breath out. He turns to Rose, lying prone on his couch, one arm hanging limply over the edge, face serene in sleep in a way it never quite could be when she was awake. He sighs. 

DIRK: Rose, what the fuck am I doing? 

Drifting and dreaming, Rose does not – cannot – answer. 

~ 

Jake English is nervous. 

It wasn't an emotion with which he was particularly versed. Growing up on a remote island, essentially raising yourself, having contact with no other beings except from the monsters – _naturae_ _lusii_ _,_ he now knew – that tried to kill him whenever he strayed too far from the house, anxiety was not an emotion he'd had much chance to develop. He was rather taciturn and shy when meeting the trolls and the beta kids for the first time, but he had quickly managed to get over that, with more than a little help from John. 

This sort of bone-deep, marrow-aching anxiety was something he didn't think he'd quite felt before. Not even when he first made his overtures towards Dirk; knowing they'd be accepted, there wasn't much room for nervousness. 

But this. 

Oh, this. 

He agonised for fifteen precious minutes over numerous minutiae. What drinks to serve, what background music to put on, which scented candles to burn, and the most terrifying prospect of all: what to wear. Jake is fully aware that this sounds superficial, but it isn't, not _really –_ this was the first time Dirk had wanted to spend time with him outside of work for weeks and weeks, and he doesn't want to present the wrong impression. It could be the last time in a while he has a chance like this again. Oddly, it feels almost like giving a first impression. 

Because it is, in a way – the first time they will interact, just them two, on Earth C. 

Jake swallows. It hits him, _really_ hits him. All of them have been drifting apart, and he and Dirk had been drifting apart even before they came to Earth C. Their breakup was cataclysmic, even if they had presented a civil front to Jane and Rory. 

Two minutes later, it had felt like the worst mistake he'd ever made. Seven years later, and that feeling had not abated. If anything, it had intensified – just like his feelings for Dirk. 

_Fuck._

In the end, Jake opts for a casual outfit, but one carefully chosen. A slim-fit violet shirt, third button open (he had considered four, but eventually decided that three fell just on the side of propriety), and a pair of black jeans that accentuated his famous ass. 

The doorbell rings. Dirk is ten minutes early. 

Of course he fucking is. 

But Jake knows him, despite Dirk pretending they were near-close to strangers nowadays, so everything is set up perfectly. Lemon and orange-blossom candles, a deep-cut electronica track playing on the record player, a bottle of the highest-shelf bourbon with two exquisite crystal lead tumblers sitting beside it. 

Jake opens the front door, mouth fixed in a rigor mortis smile. 

JAKE: Hello! 

~

DIRK: Jake.   
JAKE: You're rather early i must say, but i factored that in. Dont worry, everything is order, and i – well, i have a nice scotch for us. And a fuckload of ice. I know you like your whiskey with an abundance of rocks!   
DIRK: Thank you. 

Dirk has to catch his breath, as surreptitiously as he can muster. Luckily, Jake is the sort of person who has never heard of the word subtlety. Jake sits on the end of his red velvet chaise longue, smiling in a way Dirk was sure Jake thought was subtle. Most of Jake's clothes accentuated that toned, gorgeous figure that made the trolls, carapacians and humans go insane. Dirk sat next to him, body angled just a little bit towards him; enough that Jake would wonder if it was directed towards him, but not enough to be clear. 

DIRK: Hello, Jake. It's been a while.   
JAKE: By golly, it certainly has! Come in, come in... come through to the living room, i have a scotch, and a lot of ice! Sit down...   
DIRK: Thank you.   
JAKE: A double on the rocks...?   
DIRK: Yes, please. Thank you. 

Dirk holds the tumbler out as Jake pours a generous measure of whiskey in that he is sure is more than a double. He gives Jake a polite smile, scooping ice into his glass. Jake is visibly nervous, legs crossed, hands folded on his lap. 

Dirk Strider smirks. 

DIRK: I am afraid I need a favour from you.   
JAKE: What is it?   
DIRK: I need a space shuttle. We're going on a journey.   
JAKE: I definitely have something suitable! It will be such jolly fun to travel amidst the stars... 

Dirk opens his mouth to correct him, then closes it. He takes another swallow of the coffin varnish whiskey that tasted not just overproof, but superproof. Why _shouldn't_ he take Jake with him? 

DIRK: Take my hand. 

Jake's gorgeous moss-green eyes widen. He reaches out, delicate fingers entwining with Dirk's. With his other hand, Dirk slides Jake's glasses off his nose, folding them and placing them on the coffee table with precision. Jake's lips part slightly, a ghost of a breath escaping from them as Dirk takes his own glasses off. As oblivious as he is, even Jake couldn't mistake what Dirk is about to do. 

But perhaps not quite like _this._

Dirk launches himself at him, completely at odds with his earlier gentleness. 

~ 

Jake gasps as Dirk shoves him onto the sofa, hands tearing at his specially-chosen shirt with such vigour most of the buttons popped off. 

JAKE: Dirk!   
DIRK: We're gods. Alchemise another one. 

Jake whimpers as Dirk's lips slide down his throat, mouthing over his Adam's apple. He stops for a moment to divest himself of his own clothes, allowing Jake to admire his profile in the warm lamplight. Dirk is all angles and sharpness; an aquiline nose and high cheekbones that are accentuated by the shadows falling over his face. He is handsome even with those ridiculous glasses, but without, he's simply stunning. His almond-shaped eyes are dark honey in the dimness, glittering like amber waiting to trap an unwitting insect. 

Dirk kicks his legs open, and Jake gasps. Dirk had always been surprisingly gentle, handling Jake as though he were made of glass, as though what they had could shatter at any moment. Dirk is usually a power bottom, but it's quite clear that he has something else in mind tonight. His hand circled Jake's throat, pressing down gently with an almost manic look in his eyes. 

DIRK: I want to fucking wreck you.   
JAKE: D-Dirk...   
DIRK: Will you let me? 

Jake stares up at him, adoring. 

JAKE: I'd let you do anything to me.   
DIRK: Yes... yes, you really would, wouldn't you? 

Dirk strokes his cheek softly, and then slaps him. 

DIRK: How about that?   
JAKE: God, yes... 

The proof of how much exactly Jake liked it presses into Dirk's thigh, and he smirks. Dirk strokes his erection, causing Jake to let out a cry. With a vicious smile that cuts across his face like a blade, he rummages through his jacket pocket on the floor. He pulls out a metal ring, and Jake eyes it nervously. 

DIRK: Can't have you coming too soon, now can we?   
JAKE: W-when did you g-get that?   
DIRK: Questions, questions. I can think of a better use for that mouth of yours. 

He slips the ring to the base of Jake's cock, admiring its girth and the way it curved ever so slightly upwards, the perfect angle to reach his prostate. He pushes Jake's legs backwards, exposing his perfectly puckered arse. He reaches for the lube, which he'd pulled out along with the cock ring, coating his fingers liberally. Jake gives a high-pitched moan as Dirk preps him, hips twitching upwards. 

DIRK: You're surprisingly tight. Haven't been feeling like your usual slutty self recently?   
JAKE: Actually n-no, i havent – i havent really been able to think about anyone but you lately. All that wrestling, it – i – it dredged up feelings that i... oh gosh...   
DIRK: I see. Isn't that interesting. I am flattered, mi amor. 

Jake knows he only uses those nicknames ironically, but it still made a warmth curl in his belly, a sensation completely disparate with the lust ravaging through him. 

JAKE: Please, please -   
DIRK: Yes, my dear?   
JAKE: Please, i need to cum, please, let me -   
DIRK: No.   
JAKE: Please! 

Jake stares up at him beseechingly. 

JAKE: _Sir._

Dirk lets out a shaky groan, and pulls the ring off him. Jake makes a relieved noise, and reaches for his cock, only for his hand to be slapped away. 

DIRK: Patience. Good things come to boys who wait. 

Jake allows Dirk to pin his wrists above his head as Dirk lowers his head, tongue flicking at his nipple before sucking it into his mouth, tongue performing a rather intricate manoeuvre that he knew drove Jake crazy. Dirk lifts up his hips, aligning the head of his cock with his entrance, and Jake whines needily. 

Dirk pushes into him, gripping his hips as he fucks him, eliciting a series of moans. 

JAKE: Fuck, dirk, ive missed you, sir.   
DIRK: You've never called me that before today.   
JAKE: Ive wanted to. By gum, ive wanted to. And ive wanted you to call me something too – in fact, you already have -   
DIRK: A slut? 

Jake trembles, hands flying up to clutch at his back. 

JAKE: Y-yes. Im your slut, sir. All yours.   
DIRK: That's right. My beautiful, gorgeous slut.   
JAKE: Hit me.   
DIRK: Wha -   
JAKE: Please sir. Hit me. 

Dirk backhands him across the face as he thrusts inside him faster, hips bouncing against the sofa, and with a scream Jake releases his seed over Dirk's chest. Dirk slowly pulls out of him, leaving behind a trail of pearly white. Dirk stares at Jake for a moment, watching him. His tanned olive skin is flushed, eyes closed, panting heavily. Dirk kisses him, tenderly this time, and he felt Jake smile. 

DIRK: Jake?   
JAKE: Mmph?   
DIRK: Shower, then spacecraft?   
JAKE: Mmph.   
DIRK: Jake.   
DIRK: I forgot how sleepy you get post-coitus.   
JAKE: Mmm... stay here for a while. Hold me. 

Dirk pauses. When he speaks, his voice is level, leeched of emotion. 

DIRK: Alright. 


	3. Musings

Rory Lalonde creates another pair of sunglasses. 

He could have used the alchemiter, but something as personal as this – the creation of his new identity – feels like something he should use his powers for. Something quintessentially him. 

It had been a while since he used his god tier powers, and he was starting to miss them, along with a creeping fear that his powers might atrophy if they were left for too long. 

He glances across the table to where Calliope is busy painting their nails. They couldn't decide between lime green and black glitter, so had done one on each hand. 

CALLIOPE: any lUck?  
RORY: ya im defo getting there  
RORY: i do like these ones but theyre still too davey  
RORY: all the ones im makin are just too davey  
RORY: im not tryna become dave 2.0 here  
RORY: tho i would totally kill it in that role lets be real  
CALLIOPE: what aboUt the cat-eyes?  
RORY: too dirky  
CALLIOPE: i woUldn't say that, they were more roUnd.  
RORY: its like some sort of weird dave-dirk hybrid  
RORY: weird... stridercest glasses  
CALLIOPE: did yoU really have to pUt it like that?  
RORY: yea  
RORY: gotta admit im still partial to those lolita-lookin heart ones  
RORY: they can be my formal sunglasses  
CALLIOPE: yoU don't have to wear sUnglasses, yoU know.  
RORY: eh  
RORY: i know  
CALLIOPE: after all, it woUld be a shame to hide those beaUtiful eyes. u^u 

Rory looks up for the first time in a while. He smiles, and Calliope returns the gesture, fangs flashing in the bright Earth C sunlight. There were never any real seasons on Earth C, just a gentle, infinite wave of spring to summer then back again. Clouds only deign to grace the sky when rain is needed, and there is no such thing as a storm. It's idyllic, because that was how it was designed, but sometimes Rory dreams of lightning; of hail and maelstroms and thunder that feels as though it will crack the sky in two. 

He thinks for a moment that he should ask John to whip up a few gales, and then he remembers. 

RORY: do you think he made the right choice, callie?   
CALLIOPE: hmm?  
RORY: john.  
RORY: do you think he did the right thing?  
CALLIOPE: oh, yes, i'm sUre. lord english needed to be defeated.   
CALLIOPE: bUt i woUldn't get too complacent.   
CALLIOPE: villains are like mUshrooms.   
CALLIOPE: yoU can pUll one Up, but another will always sproUt Up in its place.  
RORY: what do u mean?? do you think something's...   
CALLIOPE: oh, i really don't know, rory.   
CALLIOPE: i am not the mUse of space.   
CALLIOPE: bUt sometimes... i feel like i know things. tiny fragments, floating throUgh space and time and the dimensions, to enter into my mind.   
CALLIOPE: riddles, their meaning hidden even from me.   
CALLIOPE: all i know is this:   
CALLIOPE: something wicked this way comes.  
RORY: perhaps you'll know something soon  
RORY: piece by piece  
RORY: fragment by fragment  
CALLIOPE: i hope so.  
RORY: i guess in the meantime we just have to -  
RORY: keep our eyes open?  
RORY: and try not succumb to this looming sense of dread we all seem to have  
CALLIOPE: yoU've felt it too?  
RORY: yea  
RORY: just a little bit  
RORY: nowhere near as much as rose, or i guess dirk  
RORY: he's good at hiding it but i know something's up  
RORY: even u feel it and ur not god tier  
RORY: although you are a special case  
CALLIOPE: u^u 


	4. Fraternal Bonding

Jake wakes up in his own bed, naked and swathed in his outrageously-high thread count sheets. He glances blearily at his bedside table, where Dirk had thoughtfully left a glass of water. He sips it, and nearly spills it in surprise when he hears a muffled scream from downstairs. 

Jake freezes. He swallows. 

JAKE: Should i... shouldn't i....   
JAKE: Frig it, it's my house and im going to see whats going on! 

After grabbing a dressing gown, he heads down the spiral staircase, hand sliding down the banister. He hears another muffled scream, and this time he's close enough to hear someone speaking. 

DIRK: Be quiet. You don't want Jake to hear, do you?   
???: dirk, please, don't – _fuck!_

Alarmed, Jake moves closer to the door. If he were a little braver, he would burst into the room. But as it is, he pushes on the door slightly, and finding it off the catch, he pushes it open just enough to see inside. 

There's a figure tied up on the couch, showing that swords and other weaponry weren't the only Japanese things Dirk is well versed in. The blood-red ropes are arranged in an intricate shinbari style, pulling their arms behind their back and finished with a complex plaited knot. Their legs are tied at the ankles, rope pulled taut and then tied around his thighs, forcing his heels to his buttocks. Dirk slaps him on the ass, causing them to yelp, head falling backwards and finally allowing Jake to see his face. 

Although he's in profile, and dimly lit, Jake could still make out who it is. 

He nearly gasps aloud, catching himself just in time. He steadies himself, hand leaning so hard against the wall his knuckles turn white. 

DAVE: dirk, please, stop!   
DIRK: I don't think so.   
DIRK: I've barely even begun. 

Jake knows he should do something. Preferably, rush in and ask Dirk what the hell he thought he was doing, but more realistically, run back upstairs and try to forget he ever saw anything. Or run outside, and have a catch-up with Jane. Or Rory. Or anyone, really. He'd even stretch to Karkat if he couldn't find anyone else. 

But he doesn't do any of that. Instead, he stays at the door, transfixed, as though the repeated motions of Dirk bringing down the riding crop on Dave's ass are hypnotising him. 

By gum, this is by far the worst thing he'd ever done. 

And yet he still can't bring himself to walk away. 

Dirk grabs Dave by his arm, pulling him around so they were face-to-face. Dave glares up at him, fringe falling over his eye, panting. 

DIRK: You're so fucking beautiful.   
DAVE: fuck you!!   
DIRK: Soon.   
DIRK: But first... 

Dirk takes his cock in his hand, guiding the head to Dave's mouth. Dave shakes his head vehemently, pressing his lips together tightly. 

DIRK: Come, now, be a good little brother. 

Dave's eyes widen, breath coming in heavy pants. Dirk threads his fingers gently through Dave's hair, and then he pulls it, hard. Dave lets out a gasp of pain, and Dirk uses this chance to push his cock between his lips. Dave lets out a muffled incoherence, staring up at him. 

DIRK: There's a good boy. 

Dave wrenches his head away, Dirk's cock slipping out of his mouth. 

DAVE: i can't do this anymore bro, i can't fucking do this anymore i - 

Dave lets out a sob. 

DIRK: Dave?   
DAVE: i need you to fuck me   
DAVE: i need you to fuck me NOW   
DIRK: I haven't finished -   
DAVE: dont make me use my fucking safeword   
DIRK: You're going to use your safeword to make me fuck you?   
DAVE: yes   
DAVE: dont fucking try me 

The realisation that this was all consensual, and the two of them were into this sort of thing, makes a wave of lust go through Jake. Of course, as soon as he'd seen them Jake had felt himself growing hard, but with a sense of guilt and low-level disgust in the back of his mind. The disgust was still there, but it seems to amplify his desire now rather than dampen it, the knowledge that the two most gorgeous men he knew – who happened to be brothers – were about to fuck in front of him. There were at least three levels of taboo to this, and Jake couldn't help but brush his hand against his cock. 

Dirk thrust into Dave, and he screamed, arms straining against their restraints. 

DAVE: oh god, yes, just like that!   
DIRK: Breaking character again?   
DAVE: one day ill try to stay in scene while you fuck me   
DAVE: you're just too intoxicating   
DAVE: that feeling as you're accelerating   
DAVE: has got me venerat-   
DIRK: If you start rapping I am never having sex with you again.   
DIRK: It's excruciating.   
DAVE: you couldn't help but rap back though   
DAVE: that's my fuckin bro 

Dirk smiles. He pulls out, causing Dave to whine, and he rolls to the side of the couch and grabs a knife from the table that Jake hadn't previously noticed. He cuts through Dave's restraints with the precision of a surgeon. Dave's arms immediately wraps around him, nails clawing into his back. Dirk gasps, neck arching backwards, his gorgeous face contorts in gorgeous ecstasy. 

JAKE: _Oh -_

Jake slaps a hand over his mouth, horrified. Dirk's head snaps up immediately, a grin spreading across his face. Jake's fight or flight – or rather, fuck or flight – instinct kicks in, and he was still deciding what to do when Dirk yanks open the door. 

DIRK: Well, well, well. I never took you as a voyeur, English.   
JAKE: W-w-well, i never took you as someone who had, um, so to speak, embraced the troll culture with such gumption. 

Dirk's smile turns wicked. 

DIRK: Ever since I saw him, I wanted him.   
DIRK: I'm afraid my depravity has nothing to do with cultural integration.   
DAVE: either invite him in or tell him to fuck off   
DAVE: im dying here   
DIRK: Well?   
DIRK: Care to join us?   
JAKE: I – oh, golly, I -   
DIRK: You can take his mouth. God knows it's the only way to get him to shut up.   
DAVE: oh fuck off 

Jake swallows. He looks from Dirk to Dave, and bites his lip. How the hell could he possibly turn down an offer like that? Dirk seems to see the answer in his eyes, because he holds out his hand. Jake takes it, and Dirk pulls him into the room. Dave shifts himself so he's on his hands and knees, the perfect position to be spitroasted. 

Jake doesn't really know Dave very well; the only beta kids he'd really hung around with a lot were John and Jade. Jake remembers being thrown for a loop when he'd first seen him. He was just as gorgeous as Dirk, in ways that are both similar and very different. Whereas Dirk is all angles, Dave has more rounded features, with a button nose and large eyes; but he still shares Dirk's full, luscious lips, high Cupid's bow and the sort of light blond hair that usually came from a bottle. 

He turns to Jake, and gives him a sultry smile. 

DAVE: come on then big boy   
DAVE: let's see if that dick is as juicy as that ass   
DIRK: My God, could you get any more cliche?   
DAVE: my life has been a series of never-ending cliches   
DAVE: now get over here english 

Jake obeys, albeit hesitantly. It isn't like he's done this a hundred times before, but with Dave? With _Dirk_ looking on? It's enough to make even a seasoned harlot like him nervous – but unconscionably excited. Jake gets onto the couch, and Dave is about to lunge for him before Dirk speaks. 

DIRK: Wait.   
DIRK: Why don't you get back into the scene, Dave?   
DAVE: i cant exactly protest with a cock in my mouth   
DIRK: Jake can watch for a while.   
DIRK: God knows he's been doing that already.   
DIRK: Jake, Dave's safeword is smuppet.   
JAKE: Smu- are you serious?   
DAVE: oh yeah   
DAVE: no prizes for guessing who chose it   
DIRK: Now.   
DIRK: Time to hear you cry. 

Dirk strokes Dave's hair, and he leans into him like a cat before catching himself and jerking away. Dirk grabs him and rolls him on his stomach, wrenching his arms behind his back and pushes his legs apart. Jake isn't quite sure if Dace has shaved there, or if his hair is so fine and fair that it's nearly imperceptible, but either way, it makes his lower abdomen ache with need, 

DAVE: what the fuck do you think youre doing?   
DIRK: What does it look like I'm doing, little bro?   
DAVE: dont you dare -   
DIRK: Oh, but I do dare. 

His hand slides down the curve of Dave's back, fingers playing over his vertebrae almost as though he were performing a glissando on the piano. Dave whimpers, and despite him playing the part of a non-consensual participant, his lust is clear in his voice. It strains against his contrary words, begging to be released. 

DAVE: dirk, no! no, i dont want - 

Dirk all but purrs as he replies. 

DIRK: My darling brother, this isn't about what you want.   
DIRK: I am the eldest, after all.   
DIRK: This is my prerogative. 

Dave's breath comes in beautiful, fluttering little pants. Despite himself, he widens his legs further, puckered hole widening. Jake makes a very loud, very obvious intake of breath. 

Dirk lowers his face between Dave's buttocks, licking a long stripe between them. Dave convulses beneath him in evident pleasure, knuckles clenching as Dirk's tongue slips inside him. 

DAVE: no, stop!!   
DIRK: You appear to be labouring under the illusion that you have any say in this at all. 

Dirk thrusts into Dave viciously, with minimal lubrication. Jake's dick becomes dangerously inflamed as he watches them. He had never quite seen Dirk like this before, so domineering and unyielding. Dirk's hand went to Dave's throat, causing Dave's hips to involuntarily jerk upwards, legs wrapping around Dirk's waist. Dave sobs. 

DAVE: please, you're hurting me! bro -   
DIRK: What did you just say?   
DAVE: you're hurting me!   
DIRK: After that.   
DAVE: b-bro?   
DIRK: Again.   
DAVE: you're fucking sick   
DAVE: please, stop! you're supposed to look after me, you – ah!   
DAVE: please, it hurts! stop!!   
DIRK: Jake.   
JAKE: Y-yes?   
DIRK: Fuck his mouth.   
DAVE: n-no, please, i cant -   
DIRK: Do it, Jake.   
JAKE: His safeword?   
DIRK: He'll tap his foot thrice. 

Jake nods. Dirk pulls out of him, manhandling Dave back into his prior position on his hands and knees. He looks up at Jake, scarlet eyes gleaming with tears that spill over his cheeks. His rose-pink lips are shiny, like a strawberry lollipop. Dirk fucks into him again, and a gasp tears from Dave's throat, breath shivering. His eyes are still on Jake's, and his tongue flicks invitingly. 

So much for staying in the scene. 

Jake thrusts into Dave's mouth, and he moans in a way that can only be interpreted as greedy. After a few stuttering starts, Dirk and Jake begin to move in tandem, momentum feeding into each other. Dirk leans over, lips parting. Catching the hint, Jake leans in as well, kissing him hungrily. The tip of Dirk's tongue flicked inside his mouth, and Jake gasps. One Strider's mouth on his, another Strider's around his dick – this was what dreams were made of. 

Jake gasps, shuddering, and Dave makes a choking sound as he swallows. He pulls his head off Jake's cock, panting for breath, a trail of white leading down from the corner of his mouth. Dave grabs at his own cock, jerking himself desperately, and the Striders climax almost simultaneously as Dirk pulls Dave by the hair, turning his head and kissing him. 

The three of them collapse, spent. 


	5. Hope

When Dirk Strider leaves Earth C forever, it is the middle of the night. If anyone notices the taking-off of the _Theseus,_ it is too late for them to do anything. As he steers the ship through the stratosphere, his phone rings. He glances at the caller ID. Kanaya. 

Of course. The scales must have fallen from her eyes by now, no doubt with Jade's help. It doesn't matter. He's beyond anyone's reach, now. 

On a futon at the other end of the room, Rose is asleep, or on standby, or whatever the robotic equivalent is. Dirk did do a fantastic job on her, if he does say so himself. Her face is replicated down to the very last detail in gorgeous shining metal, save for the symmetrical seams that run down her cheeks, with rivets on either side. He didn't want to replicate the human experience exactly, after all. No point in forgetting who, and what you really are. 

The _Theseus_ breaks free of the Earth's gravity, and the ship stabilises. Dirk lets go of the controls, leaning back in the chair. Jake is asleep in one of the bedrooms, courtesy of a sedative; Dirk did not like distractions while taking off, at least not English-related ones. Some sort of ridiculous post-post-post-dubstep music that he'd composed himself was playing in the background, something to keep his mind off those infinite Dirk fragments while he was trying to concentrate on something else. He'd once referred to them as alternate selves, but they weren't. All of those Dirks, scattered throughout dimensions, were all puzzle pieces that fit together – not quite perfectly – to form him. 

On the other hand, some people _did_ have alternate selves, such as – 

DAVE: sup    
DIRK: Not to steal an Englishism, but how the devilfucking dickens did you get here?    
DAVE: not so omniscient now are we    
DIRK: Tut tut, David. Don't talk back to your elders. 

Dirk steps towards Dave, who had come in through the previously locked door leading to the rest of the ship. Dave stood his ground, watching him calmly. He was wearing his old god tier outfit, cape streaming behind him. Dirk pushed him gently against the wall, leaning in to whisper in his ear. 

DIRK: Why are you here, little brother?    
DIRK: Coming back for more so soon? 

His lips skim down the side of Dave's neck, a knee pressing between his thighs, and Dave pushes him away violently. Dirk is close enough to him that he sees his eyes widen behind his sunglasses. Dirk moves forward again, shoving him against the wall and kissing him. 

DAVE: what the fuck are you playing at?!    
DAVE: god youre even more depraved than i thought    
DAVE: wait 

As well as wiping his face of all emotion, Dirk can also project his feelings onto his face with remarkable accuracy. Dave's eyes move infinitesimally, flicking over every inch of his face. 

DAVE: in this timeline    
DAVE: we're -    
DIRK: That's right. 

Dave staggers away from him, and horror is evident in every line of his body. 

DAVE: no    
DAVE: you're lying    
DAVE: you're LYING!    
DIRK: I'm not.    
DAVE: then you forced me, you made me!    
DIRK: Oh, I can assure you I didn't. It would be so easy to, with my classpect. But I didn't. You were the one who made the move first. You were so hungry.    
DAVE: but you're my father!!    
DIRK: Ectobiologically speaking, yes. We tend to prefer the term brothers, though.    
DAVE: i dont care what kind of weird bro kink youve got going on, it doesnt change the facts    
DIRK: I think you mean what weird bro kink we've got going on.    
DAVE: SHUT UP!! 

Dave lunges for him, fist flying towards Dirk's face. He attempts to grab his wrist, but Dave dips under his arm and gives him a roundhouse kick. He'd lived with a version of Dirk until he was thirteen, and learnt his entire fighting style; Dirk had never witnessed Dave's fighting style before. 

Unfortunately, because Bro taught Dave how to fight, it meant they were near-identical. It didn't help that Dirk had natural strength that he didn't have, enhanced by years of sparring with robots. Within moments Dirk has him pinned to the floor, muscular arms like rods of steel. Dave pants, his glasses askew. 

DIRK: I really wouldn't try that again.    
DAVE: aren't you going to beat the shit out of me?    
DIRK: Why? Do you want me to? Is that what gets you off?    
DIRK: You want me to be more like your Bro? 

Dave kicks him between the legs, and Dirk lets out a moan of pain, his grip loosening. Dave rolls him over onto his stomach, pushing him down and straddling him. Dirk lets out a shuddering breath. 

DIRK: Or perhaps, this is what you want?    
DIRK: You want to dominate me? Punish me?    
DIRK: Get out all your pent-up aggression towards your brother?    
DAVE: youre not my brother, youre my father!    
DIRK: And you've got a hard on anyway, haven't you, my little Electra?    
DAVE: youre wrong    
DIRK: Then what am I feeling in the small of my back? 

Dave flips him over, straddling him again. He removes Dirk's sunglasses, tossing them aside before removing his own. 

DAVE: what are you doing to me    
DAVE: what are you DOING    
DAVE: i mean i wanted you before but i    
DAVE: im not a fuckin troll, i cant go around incestuously lusting everywhere    
DAVE: but im really failing to hold my urges in    
DAVE: and ive been doing that all my life, its kind of my area    
DIRK: Stop fighting it.    
DIRK: What are you afraid of? 

Dave is silent for a moment, and then he kisses Dirk hard, mouth moving desperately against his. He undid his shirt, trailing kisses down his chest, and Dirk sighs, hand threading through Dave's silky-soft locks. Dave's hips grind downwards, searching for friction. 

There are footsteps from behind the door, and Dave jumps up as though he'd been electrified. He lopes into the centre of the room, and then sees Rose for the first time. He yelps, then relaxes when he sees she's still unconscious. The door slides open with a _whoosh_ that is so similar to the noise in cheesy science fiction movies that he knows Dirk must have done it on purpose. 

Jake English walks in, stopping dead in the doorway at the sight of Dave. The door attempts to close on him, and he steps forward with a squawk. He looks from Dave to Dirk, taking in the latter's rumpled clothing and open shirt. Dirk re-adjusts his glasses, smirking at him. 

JAKE: O-Oh! Im sorry, was i interrupting something?    
DAVE: no not at all    
DAVE: but what are you doin here? youre not -    
DAVE: have i got the wrong fuckin timeline    
DAVE: but no    
DAVE: this is your ultimate self    
DAVE: hm    
DIRK: You never did tell me why you're here, Dave.    
DAVE: isnt it obvious    
DAVE: im here to stop you    
DIRK: How incredibly predictable.    
DIRK: So? What are you waiting for? Are you going to kill me?    
DAVE: what    
DIRK: That would be a surefire way to stop me, wouldn't it?    
DAVE: im not just going to kill my brother in cold blood    
DIRK: Don't you mean father?    
DAVE: shut the fuck up    
JAKE: Um, i think im missing something here. Why do you want to stop dirk?    
DAVE: because he's trying to destroy the universe    
JAKE: what???    
DIRK: Not destroy, not exactly. I'm going to create something new.    
DAVE: cut the bullshit im not an idiot    
DAVE: youre a prince. you destroy. its your goddamn thing    
DIRK: Touche.    
JAKE: But why, dirk??    
DIRK: I'm a god. Not just a god, but an Ascended god. Why would I let my powers atrophy, withering like balls in the Arctic. I have the power to destroy an entire universe. Why the hell wouldn't I use it?    
DAVE: and theres the fuckin crux of it isnt it    
DAVE: you think youve finally found your purpose after a lifetime of drowning in your own persona, not knowing who truly are    
DIRK: You do know that Rose is the therapist in this family, not you.    
DAVE: you think that this is the only way to defragment yourself, and maybe it is    
DAVE: but at what cost? you still arent truly yourself. youre the universes bitch    
JAKE: How can he be the universes bitch if he wants to destroy it?    
DAVE: thats a good question jape    
DAVE: ill tell you why    
DAVE: entropy    
DIRK: What the fuck are you talking about now?    
DAVE: come on big brain you know what entropy is    
DAVE: second law of thermodynamics and all that shit    
DIRK: I am aware of all that shit, yes.    
JAKE: I believe what my old chum dave here is trying to say is that the universe creates its own method of destruction. Lord english, karkat and the tumor, all of those were created by the universe and then another universe created their downfall. Somewhere out there theres someone who will defeat dirk, but not before hes destroyed this universe. Its a bit like an ecosystem.    
DAVE: you know youre not as stupid as you look    
JAKE: By gum, is every compliment i get backhanded these days?!    
DAVE: sorry    
DAVE: anyway yeah that's pretty much the gist    
DAVE: dirk, the universe wants you to destroy it and youre its bitch    
DIRK: Thank you for that scintillating insight.    
DIRK: What the fuck do you expect me to do about it, then?    
DAVE: well    
DAVE: i mean    
DAVE: despite what i said earlier    
DAVE: i kind of did come here to kill you    
DAVE: but now im kind of thinking    
DAVE: well im more hopeful now    
DAVE: hopeful that theres another way even when before i was sure that there wasnt    
DAVE: i just have no idea why i feel so hopeful all of a sudden    
DAVE: feel almost buoyant with hope 

Dave pauses and slowly turns to Jake. He's leaning casually against a bookcase that is populated almost entirely by volumes of manga and anime figures. He's curiously examining a statue of Madoka, and stops when he notices Dave staring at him. 

JAKE: Do i have a trifle something on my face?    
DAVE: you havent ascended have you?    
JAKE: Of course i have, i reached god tier ages ago along with roxy and dirk and jane! Are you alright dave?    
DAVE: never mind 

Dave approaches Dirk again, who was looking as impassive as always. He cups Dirk's face in his hands, and Dirk flinches minutely at the coolness of his skin. 

DAVE: do you know what your problem is?    
DAVE: you have no sense of self-worth    
DAVE: your self-worth is so low that when you committed suicide it was considered just    
DAVE: because you absolutely despise yourself    
DIRK: I have no sense of self-worth as a moral character. That doesn't mean that I have no self-esteem. Perhaps I enjoy being the villain of the piece.    
DAVE: no you dont    
DAVE: and do you know how i know that?    
DAVE: because i know you    
DAVE: youre a good person, dirk    
DAVE: youve been waiting all your life for someone to say that to you, and now i am, because its true    
DAVE: i dont fucking lie    
DAVE: not to my brother    
DAVE: or father or however the fuck you want to define our relationship    
DAVE: so you can stop pretending you have no morals, or feelings, and that youre just some impassive instrument of the universe    
DAVE: youre dirk strider    
DAVE: and i love you 

Dirk's expression doesn't change, but a single tear emerges from beneath his glasses and rolls down his cheek. Dave leans forward, and presses a soft, chaste kiss to his mouth. Dirk freezes, and then returns the kiss, hand moving to cup the back of his head gently.

DAVE: i love you  
DIRK: I-I -  
DIRK: I love you too, Dave.  
DAVE: come on bro  
DAVE: lets go home  
DIRK: But – we can't have two Daves in the same place.  
DAVE: youre a fully realised prince of heart  
DAVE: you deal in the reuniting of fragments  
DIRK: I can't merge you two together!  
DIRK: Can I?  
DAVE: see  
DAVE: theres more than to being the prince of heart than destroying the universe  
DAVE: now lets go 


	6. Ascension (or, the Pseudo-Epilogue)

Dave is sitting on Dirk's sofa, head leaning on his shoulder. Dirk's arm is around him, gathering him close. His arm is over Dirk's stomach, hovering dangerously close to his groin. 

DIRK: How are you feeling, Double Dave?    
DAVE: great, actually    
DAVE: i feel almost completely normal    
DAVE: i cant believe that worked    
DIRK: You mean you weren't sure?    
DAVE: bro, when the fuck have i ever been sure about anything 

Dirk smiles, and kisses the top of his forehead. Dave swallows, and tries to concentrate on the anime that's playing only half-ironically in front of them. His two psyches were almost completely integrated, and everything was fine but for his inner turmoil about Dirk. He remembered fucking him, but still had the guilt and shame swirling around his head.

But god, Dirk's so hot, and Dave knows he wantshim. He'd been right earlier, when he'd asked him what he was afraid of. What the fuck was he afraid of? Subscribing to some cultural norms from a planet that didn't really exist anymore? 

Suddenly, he grabs Dirk's chin and kisses him. He makes a noise of surprise before reciprocating, pulling Dave onto his lap. He wrapped his legs around Dirk's waist, deepening the kiss.

DIRK: Come to your senses, have you?    
DAVE: yeah    
DAVE: now help me come to something else

Their lovemaking is fast but gentle, Dirk pressing their cocks together and pumping them quickly while kissing down his neck, tongue flicking at his nipple and pushing them both to climax. Dave pants, groaning, arms wrapping around him as he trembles in the aftershocks of his orgasm.   
DIRK: I love you too.   
DIRK: Pervert.

~ 

RORY: so you saved the universe with the power of brotherly love and jakes hope aura  
RORY: not bad son   
DAVE: cheers dad  
RORY: i thought dirk was ur dad   
DAVE: no hes daddy  
RORY: okay i am noping the fuck out of this convo right now

Rory walks back to Calliope, hearing Dave laugh heartily behind him. Calliope watches him with a quizzical expression as he sits down opposite them. 

RORY: looks like the prince has been neutralised  
RORY: our portents of doom were completely wrong  
RORY: crisis motherfuckin averted   
CALLIOPE: i don't know, rory.   
CALLIOPE: i still don't feel... right.   
CALLIOPE: there's something in the air. something coming.   
CALLIOPE: i jUst wish i knew what. perhaps my alternate self will deign to tell me   
RORY: im sure its just vestigial fear!  
RORY: everythings going to be fine, calliope. im sure of it!

~ 

**= > [S] Maid of Life: Rise up.**


End file.
